Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in BenNeedsToDie's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, September 30th, 2006
3:53 am	hey you fuck you i hate how you twisted, or tried to twist everything around where it was my fault (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 24th, 2006
3:24 am	things right and wrong with my life wrong: my Alkaline Trio obsession. it's turned me into a suicidal hopeless romantic i can't even ask the rickshaw girl out on a date because my confidence is all fucked, thank you gave up on ever talking about hell block ever again, even deleted the file from my comp and every referance about it right: i've become crazy creative i didn't have a handsome smile anyway birthday is coming up so a big journal update is coming up summer is over so let's count the states VA,TX,CA,MD,WV,PA,NY,ON(CAN),NC,SC,GA,FL over 10,000 miles traveled by plane, car, train anywayyyyyyy sweet new tattoo not such a good picture but (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 20th, 2006
8:20 pm	itunes on random Jimmy Eat World reminds me of that time steph, Beth, and I had that underwear dance party in the dark at 130 w. clay (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 19th, 2006
2:41 pm	fuck, man no more six feet under ondemand i guess that's a good thing tomorrow scott is doing the best tattoo in the world on me a sting ray w/ a banner over it that says, "cricky!" i'm trying to find some time to go back to cali, i miss it like a mother fucker the beaches, my friends the beard is back, alittle bit thicker than berfore i've been updating live journal a shit ton more now that i don't have myspace, i guess i'm just closer to my LJ friends than i was my myspace friendsmy birthday is exactly two weeks away!! (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 16th, 2006
8:55 pm	welllllllllllllll things have been up and down. in 3 hours this shitty week will be over but i have DMB and Eric Clapton stage hand shit to do i started making drinks at Helen's on Thursdays or i'm on call either way i haven't really spoke to Hannah since Tue night oh well, you win some you lose some i've been considering moving here are the towns Athens (long shot) Gainesville, FL Charlottesville or any sweet college town where i can find a bartending job i cleaned my phone out weeks ago, i'm glad i never knew numbers by heart or there is too much temptation to call em it's times like this where i wish that the operation of eternal sunshine of the spotless mind was real dear starr walker, you were on point the other night!!! i need to see you out more (Comment on this)
Friday, September 15th, 2006
8:46 pm	yep i jinxed it, what shitty luck anyway i'm making mad money on thursday i worked doing stage hand, followed by Best Buy, then at Helen's (Comment on this)
Monday, September 11th, 2006
1:55 pm	i kinda wish i had a flight i would be in Arcade, NY right now it's high 40s low 50s, i would be in a peacoat, beated red sox hat, and jeans i would be there by myself, face kinda cold. i think about what all went wrong here in Richmond the only thing that has gone right is my current company but i see the reason why people don't date in this town, everyone is everyone's drama. all of it is almost settled but i kinda hope we make it through this. my luck has gone to shit and i can't wait for peacoats to come back out the closet (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 10th, 2006
6:04 pm	oh this one is gonna hurt i feel like this is gonna hurt like no tomorrow or be the most awesome thing i ever had can't jynx it don't jynx it (see last years post and smiles) (Comment on this)
Friday, September 8th, 2006
2:52 pm	wish in one hand and shit in the other, see which one gets full first (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 6th, 2006
8:59 pm	let's rock dear ellwood ave, i love you. my dad's birthday came and went on sunday, by luck i had the day off and by better luck all those i loved were right by my side. we did go-karts twice, mini golf, and just had fun. every first turn Kari, wade, Richard, Tiffany, and Jim were there to make me smile my dad would have been 50 and i think about what could have been, about what he would say about Donnie and I now. i've been walking wonka a whole lot it's both good theorpy for us (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 2nd, 2006
2:50 am	sweet getting back into the swing of things also a little sick, boo to being sick anyway, i love fall. it's winter that always fucks me i wish i knew how to delete live journal (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 25th, 2006
10:56 pm	stuff Top 10 things that make you happy right now, and tag 5 people to do the same. I got tagged! No particular order: 1. PBR 2. Monday nights at Starlite w/ my best friends 3. talking zombies 4. getting a new crush 5. Matt finding me new work 6. money 7. picking a flower out of someone's yard to give to her 8. natius (hey, everyone needs a rival) 9. Nessy 10. great friends Tagged: 1. someone 2. anyone 3. people 4. stuff 5. you (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 1st, 2006
2:19 am	no subject there is not a thought in my mind that does not have death carved in it. you don't see until you lost half your blood and how life just takes its toll (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 7th, 2006
3:07 pm	I would give anything, anything. to be seriously fucking normal, to not fidget around and be akward, not have my mind race around like its god damn NASCAR. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 17th, 2006
3:41 pm	team alphabet OWNS YOU!! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, December 18th, 2005
1:19 am	i'm going for it! in a couple months maybe my full aurburn red beard will be in hahaha and it will be sweet for all those who doubt i am able to take care of a cat, i have had Nessy almost a month and she is a growing girl. i love her to death Dec is actually shaping up to not be bad. i don't drink as much, it has gone quick, hurry up 2006 people leave adresses because you will be getting post cards from my week "adventure" starting very soon (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 8th, 2005
10:55 pm	for one of the first times after long freddy sessions, joke cracking, the awesome feathered hair of Joey and the just awesomeness of Dan i actually didn't feel stressed. my mind wasn't scattered, i just felt pretty relaxed. i got some good news in Spanish, i'm kinda on the verge of getting an A, i pretty much have an A in american lit, and i may even get an A in human sexuality. school is alright, life is starting to somewhat pick up. i need new glasses these ones are over 4 years old and have been repaired SOOOOOOOO many times. After 4 years it is time to get new glasses, its kinda sad. things to look foward to (in no order): good grades new glasses next semester more freddy sessions things that are kinda a bummer not really starting the new year right (i may be gone for 6 days) afrade of not getting good grades new glasses on a side note, Taryn, call me for info on Fasion School someone would like to drop your name and give you info (Comment on this)
Saturday, November 5th, 2005
3:50 pm	communication if only we told each other all the things we told livejournal (Comment on this)
Friday, October 28th, 2005
2:44 am	walks in Oregon Hill when i lived in the lofts i would often walk to the end of Oregon Hill and think about life. I would wear my best shirt and a tie and often think, "this is gonna be the outfit i'm gonna die in, show your family some respect" as you can tell, i never died. The bitterness and lonley ness got to me and this would be a 3 times a week thing. But soon the weather started getting warmer i started to mellow out and my last attempt was in may 03. fast foward July 03, my dad commits suicide and shit hits the fan everyone i opened up to i shut off, it was all gone, i lose contact and don't feel like opening up i close the door on feelings because what i was feeling would never be as strong as the sorrow i was feeling then. I met a person who would change my life forever on Valentines Day 04 none the less i met the blue eyes long brown hair and personality that would make me crack open my shell alittle bit this person taight me how to love and how to open up. i saw all beauity in this girl. it ended i ran through girls like tissues i made great FRIENDS (example Nikita) i met a brown eyed beauity who would chance my world, i fought it because hearts don't open up easy, one fights it that ended we started it up again, feeling better, i fought it more and by my dumb hand, it ended if i could have anything it would be to stair at the Ballerina on your back while we sleep and drool on pillows it would be watching you have that last smoke before you sleep it would be me holding you this time. to me being stupid i found love and pushed it away my best shirt, my best tie oregon hill is too far away but death is at my bedside always waiting always laughing with that bottle is liquor in his hand it says to me, "i'll let you die a thousand times over because you refuse to love" life is not getting the gift but giving it only you fold your blanket back before bed and you only dream the dreams a thousand kisses from super models don't equal the kiss of a sweet dream and lord if you are there give me a worth while kiss tonight Goodnight, Benjamin (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, September 30th, 2005
2:56 am	holy PA i wish i had my windows rolled down driving full speed to buffalo right now, music blasting, heart racing and nothing but the beautiful mountian scenenry keeping my company. i realize so much when i think about it. i wish i had a warm king sized bed in a freezing cold town waiting for me. i wish i never fucked up everything that was sweet. i fucked up i tried hard you don't even know but think i only do what i do for other girls no, i do what i do because i'm Ben fucking White you should know that i need the comfort of a warm coat, i need a smile to brighten my night, i need something to believe in (Comment on this)